Hey. Today Jessie tell the story of when her Mom called the police on her Dad. "This story might trigger some people. So if you have a hard time around talk of sexual abuse, you don’t need to watch this. Here goes.
So, my mom left when I was 3. It was heartbreaking but my dad always took care of us.
He had to change careers, go back to school, and move us into our grandma’s house. All the while we were working on a house that we’d eventually move into.
Shortly after my mom moved, my father started drinking again. Heavily. Blacking out several times a week, missing work, getting fired, forgetting to feed us, making us get ourselves up for school, yup, alcohol to him was like a poison. No snake needed.
One day I got really sick with the flu. I always stayed in my Dad’s bed when I was sick. He had work that day. Meanwhile, I stayed home and drank this nasty orange flavored vitamin fluid my Dad made. The struggles of being raised by a medical professional.
That night, my dad went out with some friends. I, being only 9, thought he was just at work late.
I had fallen asleep when he came home. It was in the middle of the night. That night changed my relationship with him forever. That night, he molested me.
I remember him calling me the name of his then girlfriend, so he didn’t know it was me. But that didn’t ease the hurt I felt.
The next day I told him what had happened. And this is the only time I have ever seen my father break down. He couldn’t stop apologizing. To this day he doesn’t remember the incident according to him.
See, the woman he was dating was our neighbor. And she had a daughter my age. Kylie. We became best friends and were like sisters. But after her mom and my dad broke up, in a sense, so did we.
In the following 5 years my Dad sobered up through rehab. I was 14 years old.
We moved away to a nearby town and I tried to forget the unstable, lonely hell that was my pre teen years. I don’t think I’ll ever fully heal from them. But I was 14 and I was finally allowed to have social media and my own smartphone. First initiative? Contact my best friend and mother. I rekindled my relationships with them and was happy for a while. So things were getting better again.
But, of course, one day it all tanked.
My friend, Kylie, hadn’t talked to me in a couple weeks and I was becoming worried. Did her mom take her phone? Did I do something wrong? After I think almost 3 weeks, she finally called. But she seemed sad and scared. She said she couldn’t talk to me anymore and she didn’t wanna tell me why. I reassured her that she could trust me. So she told me. She had a similar experience with my father. One night she was staying at my house and he used extremely inappropriate language with her. Nothing physical, but still awful. And she had finally come to terms with it now. So when she did, she told her mom. Her mom was furious and told her to stop talking to ME. Me?! I’m not the one who did anything wrong! And I tried to talk her out of cutting me off but it didn’t go so well.
She thought I didn’t believe her. Of course I did! It happened to me too! But nobody knew that, I kept it to myself. And we grew apart again. I needed to vent to someone.
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t go to my grandma’s as we had now moved far away from her. I didn’t wanna call the cops because I’d lose my dad. So Icontacted my mom. I was only gonna tell her about my friend but I was so stressed out that I told her about the molestation. She sat in silence for a moment, and said she’d call me back. A couple minutes later she texted me that she had called the cops on my dad! She thought I was still being abused!
Verbally and emotionally? Yes. My dads always had a bad temper. But sexually? No!
And I didn’t want to lose my home and the stability I had only just
gained. In retrospect, Mom did the right thing.
So when an investigator came, I was scared. I’m not a good liar. But, my dad was supportive and told me to tell the truth. But I didn’t want to lose him or my home. So I lied. I feel awful about it to this day. 3 years later, I’m almost 18 now and I’m doing better.
We’ve moved twice since then for my Dad’s work but I love my new state and I’ve been working on school, my health, and my music! Don’t worry, this isn’t an elaborate scheme to sell my fire mixtape.
My Dad and I are working on things and I hope I still talk to my dad when I graduate from high school and move out. I think what I gathered from this is, good people do awful things and make horrible mistakes. And I’d only be doing myself a disservice if I cut my parents out of my life. If I lost my Dad, I wouldn’t have all my recent memories of us getting ice cream, going to look at sea lions, watching movies, having long philosophical conversations, and so on. I’ve finally gotten back to hugging him again. I love hugs and I’m glad I’m okay enough now to hug the king of huggers".
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