ALBUQUERQUE, N.M.— Parenting teenagers can be tough, but counselors at the Family Workshop in northeast Albuquerque have tips to keep the family bond strong. "I admit to taking it personal at times. And I had to learn, myself, not to take it personal,” said licensed clinical counselor, Jennifer Chavez.
Chavez and licensed mental health counselor Bernadette Miller are mothers. They say it’s not always a parent’s fault when kids keep them at arm’s length.
Miller said teens aren’t fully socially and emotionally developed because their frontal lobe of the brain still continues to develop until age 22.
So while they’re trying to be cool, spend more time with friends or fall into peer pressure; parents can still try to reconnect.
"They crave structure and consistency. And as long as there's that structure and consistency, you will get no push back from the child,” said Miller.
The counselors recommend family activities like hiking, game night and dinner time to talk to their teens. They said it’s important that parents don’t judge and interrupt their kids when they’re trying to open up.
Chavez said teens can give subtle and obvious signs they want parents to reach out to them, but they won’t ask for help.
"It's a time of individuation, so they're gonna separate and try to figure out life on their own, but they still need that guidance,” said Chavez.
Parents should approach their child if they shut down, shut their parent out or have bursts of anger.
Both counselors say the best thing parents can do is be available and just listen.
They don’t recommend parents to change heir core values to work on their relationship with their kid. If their approach isn’t working, Chavez and Miller recommend family counseling.
0 Comments